We got some expected news today. My Beloved's Father has a problem in his heart. He will most likely need open heart surgery in the very near future. He is the only Grandfather our children have known. They adore him.
I adore him. He was born the same year my Daddy was born. 1928. My Daddy died too young of an illness that captured his life within three weeks. My Daddy never got to meet our children. We knew Grandpa Tom had some heart issues. He has for quite some time. It sounds like a valve in his heart will need to be replaced. We had to tell our children tonight that Grandpa and Grandma probably won't be here to visit on their birthday. Elijah-Max said a sweet prayer for his Grandpa Tom at bedtime and then got very quiet and rested his head on his Daddy's shoulder. I asked him how he felt and he said, "I feel sad".I feel sad too. I won't verbalize my worst fears and yet, I know I am not the only one thinking them. I am so glad that Grandpa and Grandma told us what is going on with Grandpa's heart. They need to know that we support them in their decisions; they need to hear that we love them again; they need to feel the closeness of us even though we are separated by 3,000 miles.
The odd thing is, I had a dream last night about hearts. Real, human hearts. As an art form on a wall. The human heart was like a container. The one I looked at was empty. I am so glad that symbolically, my heart is full. Grandpa Tom's heart is full too. Full of love, memories, longings. The human heart holds more than what can be defined. Love multiplies, it does not divide.
If you can, please say a prayer for our Grandpa Tom. He is a quirky, intelligent, lovable man and he is the only Grandfather our children have ever known.
I am grateful that Grandpa Tom knows where he is going when he passes on. His spiritual heart is healthy. His Heavenly Father is already in his tomorrows and knows each hair on his head. He will be just fine.