The Last Grandfather

We got some expected news today. My Beloved's Father has a problem in his heart. He will most likely need open heart surgery in the very near future. He is the only Grandfather our children have known. They adore him.

I adore him. He was born the same year my Daddy was born. 1928. My Daddy died too young of an illness that captured his life within three weeks. My Daddy never got to meet our children. We knew Grandpa Tom had some heart issues. He has for quite some time. It sounds like a valve in his heart will need to be replaced. We had to tell our children tonight that Grandpa and Grandma probably won't be here to visit on their birthday. Elijah-Max said a sweet prayer for his Grandpa Tom at bedtime and then got very quiet and rested his head on his Daddy's shoulder. I asked him how he felt and he said, "I feel sad".

I feel sad too. I won't verbalize my worst fears and yet, I know I am not the only one thinking them. I am so glad that Grandpa and Grandma told us what is going on with Grandpa's heart. They need to know that we support them in their decisions; they need to hear that we love them again; they need to feel the closeness of us even though we are separated by 3,000 miles. 
The odd thing is, I had a dream last night about hearts. Real, human hearts. As an art form on a wall. The human heart was like a container. The one I looked at was empty. I am so glad that symbolically, my heart is full. Grandpa Tom's heart is full too. Full of love, memories, longings. The human heart holds more than what can be defined. Love multiplies, it does not divide.
If you can, please say a prayer for our Grandpa Tom. He is a quirky, intelligent, lovable man and he is the only Grandfather our children have ever known.
I am grateful that Grandpa Tom knows where he is going when he passes on. His spiritual heart is healthy. His Heavenly Father is already in his tomorrows and knows each hair on his head. He will be just fine.

First Day of School

It has happened. Somehow in 5 short years our 33 week preemies are now 5 and off to school. I did cry. When that yellow bus pulled away I fell into my Beloved's arms and sobbed behind my Jackie O sunglasses. Then I went inside and washed up breakfast dishes, listened to music loud and ate all the bacon, toast and tea I wanted. Uninterrupted.

Meeting the Kindergarten Teacher

We had the "meet and greet" yesterday. Of course, Benjamin blushed when Mrs. Wholey knelt down to introduce herself to him. In that moment, I saw him fall in love with his kindergarten teacher. Do you see the look on Elijah-Max's face? It's priceless. Mrs. Wholey is that perfect blend of Mary Poppins and fashionista. She is adorable. I remember feeling this way about my kindergarten teacher Miss Douglas. She wore blue eyeshadow and powder blue suits. I always thought she had just stepped off of a Pan-Am airplane. She could balance books on her head. I don't remember her kneeling down to greet me. I do remember finger painting and standing in line to recite the numbers zero to one hundred and feeling petrified. I went to the back of the line a number of times until I got it right.

Our trio found their cubbies and coat "closets" with their own names on apples in them.
They found out that there will be a Guinea pig furry love in the classroom next week and this said furry love will live in the classroom the whole school year!

The theme for this week is "Wild, Wild West". Their bus info was laminated on cowboy boots strung on yarn. They will wear these this week to and from school so as to not end up on the wrong bus.
We had about 40 minutes to look over the classroom and find important things like the bathroom and the teacher. They are excited and talkative about tomorrow; the first real day of school. They get to ride the bus!
How can it be that in a few small moments our little preemies went from babies to big kids?!