Sometimes...

Sometimes I really look at my life. You know, those moments when time slows down and I see what is memorable. It usually happens when I'm not searching for it. 

Often I am focused on just getting through the day doing the things that all good moms are supposed to do. I am focused on making sure our children are safe, fed, clothed, loved and hopefully learning something. I am usually so focused on the menial tasks of the day that I don't take the time to really see. 

It's those moments when I just am and not trying to be that time slows and I actually see the beauty in my life. I am so thankful. I know we all have gone through tough times. Times of loss, times of grief, times of injury and even illness. None of us are immune to the human experience. 

I have held dying children in my arms. I have lost my own. I have grieved because of years of infertility. I know what I have. I know how God has blessed me and I don't take it for granted. I appreciate what I have. It was a very painful and long journey to have what I have. I cherish my life. 

I cherish our children. Yes, they are a lot of work. Yes, they push me to my limits. Yes, sometimes I worry about who they will become. Yes, they bring me to my breaking point at times. I know some adults who do the same.

Having four children so close in age is a lot of work. There is always something to clean, wash, fix, do, teach, pick up, make. There are hugs to give, tears to wipe away, matching socks to find, decisions to make, books to read, words to define, food to make, projects to do and clean up. 
The times they remember and love the most are the times when we are not doing but, rather being.